|a complete state of spinsterhood
||[May. 14th, 2006|10:12 pm]
Complete state of Spinsterhood
This past week I have been dwelling on the fact that I might become an old maid. First off winning Future Cat Lady (well it was a tie with Ryan) and recieving many wills having to do with my ever-lasting single status how could I not dwell on such a matter?
I seriously must stop watching Colin Firth/ Hugh Grant love stories before I reach a complete state of spinsterhood.
Even though the drama department thinks that I will reach this stage, I am convinced that I will not. It's high school people. So what if I don't date anyone now. These are the years when you play the field and have fun, not tied down to someone who you spend all of your high school life with and never remember after about 10 years or so. These are the times to let loose, experiment, and just have fun.
Future Cat Lady MY ASS!
|Wow Nikki's back... for real this time.
||[Feb. 23rd, 2006|05:40 pm]
Had a bad day, don't talk to me,
gonna ride this out,
My little black heart, breaks apart,
with your big mouth.
And I'm sick of my sickness
Don't touch me, you'll get this.
I'm useless, lazy, perverted,
and you hate me.
You can't save me,
You can't change me,
Well I'm waiting for my wakeup call,
And everything, everything's my fault.
Yes yes I know I haven't updated a true blog in a rather long time. But lately I have had an epiphany. I realized first of all how much I have changed. I believe it is for the better but it has caused some of my best friendships to drift apart.
I have also come to realize that I have STRONG feelings for this one boy. I have NEVER had feelings as drastic as my feelings are for this particular boy. I am not saying that I am "in love" with this boy, for I am only 17, I do not believe that I trully know what it means to love somebody (besides family in this case). But this is definetly the closest to love that I have ever been. What hurts me even more is that he likes one of my best friends who is not only GORGEOUS but smart, funny, sweet, good sense of humor, she is just freaking adorable. I have told her on many occasions that if i was a guy, i'd do her. So I am happy for them, I mean they are my best friends and they only deserve the best, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. I don't think I have ever been this heartbroken in my life.
So what now. I try telling the boy why I was upset before, that it was just jealousy that I can't control. That it doesn't make a difference cuz he is about to ask out my best friend and I will just be jealous then too. I lay my heart out on the line. And what happens? We argue and ignore each other.
GODDAMN YOU HEART.
WHY DID YOU MAKE ME FALL FOR MY BEST FRIEND AND THEN MAKE ME LOSE HIM?
|pretty much sums up how i feel right now
||[Jan. 29th, 2006|09:43 pm]
There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? and where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing
its always better when we're together
MMM its always better when we're together
Yeah, look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together
And all of these moments
Just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that theyll be gone
When the morning light sings
And brings new things
For tomorrow night you see
That theyll be gone too
Too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way
Into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression
I was somewhere in between
With only two
Just me and you
Not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be
We'll Sit beneath the mango tree now
Its always better when we're together
Mmmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together
MMmmmm MMMmmmm Mmmmmm
I believe in memories
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
And there is no song I could sing
And there is no, combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're Better together
||Currently listening: |
In Between Dreams
By Jack Johnson
Release date: By 01 March, 2005
|sorry had to add this in...
||[Jan. 20th, 2006|10:40 pm]
LJ Interests meme results
OMG are you effing kidding me. Converse=love. My mom threw away my old converse and I just about killed her. They are my favorite shoes and I wish I had them in every color.
- georgia books:
These books ROCK my world. They help me escape my everyday life and enjoy the life of the most fabbityfabfab girl Georgia where Georgia and I get to fantasize about Sex Gods, get knocked out by our nunga nungas, and get to #6 on the kissing scale.
- hickey nikki:
So this nickname came to be one day in theatre. We had to act out an activity with intention. I decided that putting on makeup would be my activity. After putting some on I realize I have a hickey on my neck and I need to put more makeup on to cover it up. It was by far the most fun I have ever had in theatre class, everybody got my activity and intention, and Mr. OB and Whitus thought it was funny, Mr. OB even stated how brave I was for doing that. The nickname stuck ever since.
- love triangles:
Luis and Clint are two of my best friends. I can tell these boys just about anything. One day we were at Luis's house and we sat on his bed in a triangle for about 4 hours just talking. It was great and we didn't even realize how fast the time went by. We call ourselves the LOVE TRIANGLE.
okkkkk so being a theatre kid and dancer at heart you know that I have to love musicals. RENT, ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW, PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, MOULIN ROUGE are jsut some that top off my list.
- my volvo:
so my old '90 volvo is definetly a crappy car now, after my first accident last January. But no matter what I love this car and it is the sex.
I am a hopeless romantic. end of story.
SHAKESPEARE IS A FUCKING GENIUS. I love his plays, Midsummer Night's Dream being my all time fave. This would explain the hopeless romantic in me.
We all know how I love to talk and live to talk. I can NEVER shut up so don't try to shut me up. the end.
I have had my heart set on Trinity University for some time now. It is pretty much the only University I can see myself at. It just feels like home.
Enter your LJ user name, and 10 interests will be selected from your interest list.
|Did you think that I would cry, on the phone? Do you know what it feels like, being alone?
||[Jan. 20th, 2006|09:41 pm]
Did you think that I would cry, on the phone? Do you know what it feels like, being alone?
So I kind of gave up on the whole blogging thing since all I would ever do is write about what I have been doing lately and show pictures. Apparently those are not "true" blogs. With these recent events I felt the urge to get some of my anger out through writing.
So apparently some of my best friends don't trust me. I either:
a) lie to them
b) don't keep my promises
c) talk behind their backs
OK WHAT THE HELL. If you don't trust me FUCKING TELL ME THAT. Don't call me out of the blue and ask me why I did one of those three things IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE FACTS. If you are one of my best friends you should know that I would do ANYTHING for you and I would never lie, break my promises, or talk bad about you behind your back. I love ya'll but obviously the feelings are not returned since you don't fucking trust me.
this shows how ya'll really feel about me
so much for a great friendship
|WHAT A REAL POST?!?!?
||[Nov. 27th, 2005|11:48 am]
Hello everyone. I have not had a REAL entry in here in quite some time. It seems that the only thing I ever feel like writing about is what has been going on with me in the past few months. So I am sorry to those of you who miss the old entries I used to have. Here goes...
So not too long ago I got my haircut, on Wednesday to be exact. Its weird cuz every time I get a new haircut its like I reinvent myself. I don't know what it is but I feel so different. More confident, bold, and fun. Maybe it is just when I have short hair that I feel this way. Maybe its just the change cuz I felt the same way when I died it this summer. Idk what it is.... but whatever it is I like it.
So we have to go back to school tomorrow and finals are approaching. The only ones I am worried about are Calculus and English. So you know what that means.... study party.
Its weird how thanksgiving is already over and today me and my mom are going to start on Christmas stuff by putting the tree up. My birthday is in less than 2 weeks, and then its Christmas and New Years. Which means Blue and White will be approaching, happy SAD, spring break, prom, and then the school year is over. All of my seniors will have left me and then my fellow juniors will be left to carry on the roles as the top dogs on campus.... GOD HELP US. I can't believe how fast everything goes by. Pretty soon I will be a senior and then off to college. It's weird tho cuz last year I was scared to death of going to college and now I can't wait. Going to Trinity and just walking around and talking to kids who go there, it just made me feel at home.
So we go back to school tomorrow and I haven't touched my hw. Calculus I think I can just forget about the missing assignments, history I will do when I get back from the movies, the new book for English I will read tomorrow in teacher aide, physics packet I can do tomorrow night since its all online stuff and I think that's it. At least I hope it is.
So yup I think that's about it for now.... would you like some icons? I think you would. Or maybe its just me that likes them O WELL. ENJOY!
||[Nov. 23rd, 2005|10:36 pm]
Stolen from LizzieLove.
Write 14 things intended for someone, but don't write their name.
1. Gosh you are so sweet and cute. you are one of the only people that really relate to me on so many levels. we have lots in common and could probably talk for hours. you have been there for me when I have needed you. we have shared so many great times together in english the past 3 years, i wouldn't have english any other way.
2. oMg so first of All your the cutest thing everrrr. let's just say i am not the only one who "glows" here. you are so easy to talk to and i love that about you. you and I just talk hours at a time and get each other so well. you always bring a smile to my face and always make me laugh.
3. first of all my loverrrrr, if it wasn't for you I'd quit StuCo. you are so amazing and sweet. sometimes I wonder what I would do without you. who else would I dance with on my car? hehe. i love you muchoes and we definetly need to spend more time together.
4. We were inseperable growing up and were always the weird kids who would run around the neighborhood doing silly things. I miss our childhood memories of playing scattegories, arts and crafts, hanging around the pool, dress up, and watching "grown-up" movies like dirty dancing. Even tho I never see you anymore you know I still love you and value our friendship. Don't ever change.
5. you are just too witty and cute and i love you muchoes. I wish we would have gotten to know each other better before you left but we still managed to become great friends. I am sure we will have many more fun times to come.
6. Ok so we have had some tough times in the past 9 years, but we overcome them-- together. You know I love you tons and you are just soo goofy and that is what I love about you. So much to say about these past few years. I am glad we overcame our problems and that we are still good friends.
7. OMG so I've known you since like 2nd grade when I first joined ELP. Even tho we have so many differences and various preferences we still manage to find a common ground and stick together. I hope we both go to Trinity and spend as much time there together as possible.
8. O geez. well you are one of the funniest guys I've ever met. You come up with these completely bogus stories that always make me laugh. You make me smile every time I see you. Thanks for being a great friend.
9. Ok first of all, why are you so freakin hot?!?!? Now that thats out of the way. You know you are just so funny and you crack me up. The party doesn't officially start until YOU arrive. You are just one of the few sex gods that grace me with their presence besides number 8 of course.
10. I've known you since half-way thru my freshman year. We met in one of the most oddball classes I have ever taken. You are always so sweet and listen to all of my drama. You help me realize that I don't need to worry about so many things, that I just need to relax and enjoy life. I look up to you and your drama-free lifestyle. Thanks for always being there.
11. So even tho you didn't really know me, you invited me over to your house and befriended me. Look what a little over 5 months has done to us. I consider you one of my best friends and love the moments we have together. You always make sure that I am ok and safe. You are there for me in those moments when I really need a friend. Thank you for being such a great pal, I hope that one day I can show you how great of a friend you truly are.
12. GOSH WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. Even tho we go to different schools and don't talk as much as we used to in middle school you still know I love you. You always make me laugh and always are up for anything no matter how goofy it is. You put us two in the same room together, and you know we will have fun.
13. So you have become like my older sister. I seriously don't know what I would do without you. You have listened to my problems and helped me come up with ways to solve them and avoid future occurances. You tell me everything straightforward and aren't afraid to speak your mind. Even tho we haven't known each other for that long, I seriously value our friendship. Thanks for always being there for me.
14. This has got to be the hardest one to write.... we have had so many great moments together in the past 2 1/2 years. You basically took me under your wing at lunch and brought me into a "family". Becuz of you I have become the person I am today. More bold, confident, and the whole I-don't-care-what-other-people-think attitude. You have the best taste in music and movies, but you already know that . I cherish what we have and hope we don't continue to drift apart for I feel we are starting to. Sure I still talk to you almost everday but it isn't the same as how it used to be. I guess that's what high school does to you. Hopefully we will have ATLEAST one class together next year and more lunches together as well. you know i love you and would do anything for you. Thanks for always being there and being such a great friend.
Man I feel like I just signed 14 yearbooks.
||Currently watching: |
Release date: By 05 October, 2004
||most recent entries